


Take a Chance on Me

by ineedmygirl



Category: BuzzFeed Violet (Short Films), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, M/M, and he has secrets, and live on a small japanese island, andrew is a businessman, mamma mia inspired AU, steven and annie own a boat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 06:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15455157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedmygirl/pseuds/ineedmygirl
Summary: Steven Lim ran away from the life his parents prescribed for him years ago, when he fell in love with an island. Andrew Ilnyckyj doesn't want to keep doing things he knows are wrong, stuck in an endless cycle. He wants to fall in love, too.aka, the epic, three-part, Mamma Mia-inspired Standrew AU that no one asked for





	Take a Chance on Me

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know anything about boats or Japan and for that i apologize

“Looks like a storm’s blowing in.”

Steven looks up from the book in his lap, squinting his eyes at the sun. He’s just barely able to make out the shape of Annie standing above him, looking out across the water.

“No kidding?” Steven dog-ears his page and shifts into a more upright position. The sky above Ishigaki was a brilliant, robin’s egg blue and the sun beat mercilessly down on the island. There wasn’t a dark cloud in sight. But Annie had an uncanny way of sensing when a storm was coming - she hadn’t been wrong yet.

“Gonna be a big one, too,” Annie confirms, short, black hair swinging as she nods confidently.

Steven heaves a large sigh, jumping up from his lounging position on the boat to join Annie on the dock. He raises his arms over his head, pushing until he could feel the satisfying crack and pop of the joins in his back.

“Let’s pack up for the day then, shall we?”

All together, between the two of them, it usually took Annie and Steven about half an hour to take down all the sails, tie them down tight, store all the sailing equipment away, and secure the boat to the dock with a length of rope. It used to take them almost three times as long, but after two years, they’d become a machine almost as well-oiled as _Unmei_ \- and she was one spectacular sailing vessel.

Steven hadn’t grown up in Japan - he wasn’t even Japanese - but when his parents sent him abroad as a present after graduating from university in Ohio with their coveted degree in chemical engineering, he found himself drawn to this tiny Japanese island. And then he found himself falling in love with it. 

It was everything about the place - the sea, the people, the way nobody cared where he went to school or what he studied or what he was going to do now that he graduated. He hated to even think it because he loved his parents, but he also loved that they weren’t here.

Steven met Annie after he had been working as a server at a beachfront restaurant for a few weeks. He had been walking by the docks, finished with his shift early that evening and carrying a bag of food to take home, when he saw a young woman with choppy black hair and sneakers that _definitely_ were not meant for boating, engaged in an intense tug of war with a rope that had gotten stuck on the highest beams. She was jumping and pulling with all of her body weight, and it wouldn’t budge. Steven ambled over and offered to climb up and help.

Afterwards, sitting on the dock, sweaty and salty with a box of takeout between them, Annie admitted that taking care of a boat was probably too much work for one person. She’d inherited it from her uncle who she’d been extremely close to when he died almost a year ago, but hadn’t been ready to come down and see the boat until that day. She wanted to start a small tourism business with it, but after seeing how much work it would be for one person, she was planning on just giving it up.

“I can help you,” Steven had offered, words jumping off his tongue before he even had a chance to think about it. Something had just felt so _right_ about the boat, about Annie and her story, like he was meant to find them.

“You’re kidding,” Annie deadpanned, eyes blown wide beneath her dark fringe. 

Steven looked out at the sun setting over the water, the fiery red glow it cast, and felt a longing in his gut like he hadn’t felt since he first stepped foot on this beautiful island. 

“I’ve got nothing else to do,” Steven shrugged, tossing Annie a 500-watt smile. Annie blinked. Then blinked again.

“Are you crazy?”

“Definitely. Partner?” Steven stuck out his hand, and after a second of searching his face to make sure he wasn’t about to yell “gotcha!” and pull away, Annie hesitantly put her hand in his.

The rest, as they say in Japan, was _rekishi_.

Thanks to Annie’s sixth sense of detecting oncoming storms, she and Steven were packed up and ready to head home for the day just as the wind started whipping nearby sails and the sky cracked open and released a torrential downpour. All of the boats in the dock were being tied down and secured for the foreseeable future when a very strange sequence of events lead to the greatest adventure of Steven’s short 24 years of living.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Annie has to raise her voice to be heard over the pounding of the rain. She was waring her red raincoat with the hood tugged close over her face and the sleeves covering everything but the very tips of her fingers.

“Get home safe,” Steven waves as she half-jogs away. He tilted his head towards the sky, raising a hand to shield his eyes, and watched the ominously rolling dark clouds shift closer and closer to the island. He should get home to his apartment, he knew, and his white t-shirt was already soaked through, but there was something dangerous and enchanting about watching a storm so strong surging and pulsing right on the horizon.

Something in his gut was rooting him to the spot, for just a few moments longer.

That’s how he heard the shouting.

“No, no, _fuck_ , NO!”

A blonde man in khakis and a dark blue, short-sleeve button down was running towards the dock. A man with dark, curly hair in a striped t-shirt was following closely behind him.

“Fuck!” the man exclaims again, slowing to a walk as he reaches the boats. He shakes his head in frustration, water droplets flying, as he lowers the briefcase he had been covering his head with. His friend puts a silent hand of comfort on his shoulder.

One of the sailors who regularly docked by Annie and Steven and occasionally joined them for lunch breaks starts to walk past the briefcase man, but is stopped when his arm was frantically grabbed.

“You have a boat?” Briefcase Man practically shouts in Ryan’s face. “Please, how much to take me back to the mainland?”

Ryan laughs in the man’s face and shakes his head. “Sorry man, going out in this storm is a certified death wish, and my boyfriend’ll kill me if I die.” He pulls free of Briefcase Man and raises his hands over his head, jogging off along with the crowd of other sailors abandoning ship for the night.

Steven hadn’t realized he was still standing frozen in the rain, watching Briefcase Man rant and curse while his quiet friend stood by.

Briefcase Man looks up and locks eyes with Steven.

“I don’t suppose you’re going to take me out then?” Briefcase Man puts an aggravated hand on his hip and Steven’s brain scrambles to make sense of what he said.

“Oh, uh, no. No, sorry.” Steven shuffles awkwardly. “Ryan’s right, no boats are going out in this storm unless they seriously wanna die.”

“Fantastic.” Briefcase Man looks up at the sky with narrowed eyes. “Fuck you!” he shouts at the clouds above, making Steven laugh, and drawing Briefcase Man’s attention back to him.

“Do you know where the closest hotel is? This was only meant to be a day trip, we - we don’t have anywhere to go.” Briefcase Man falters, a hopeless expression overtaking his tight, angry one. He looked so pathetic, he and his friend, that Steven felt inclined to help them.

“Yeah, it’s right around the corner from where I live. I can take you,” Steven offers.

“Finally,” Briefcase Man huffs, “something goes our way. Come on Adam.” Briefcase Man’s quiet friend shoots him a grateful smile, still not saying a word as Steven leads them off the dock and into town. The rain is still pouring, so they duck under awnings when they can as they make their way a few blocks over and one block up from the waterfront.

“This is Rie’s Bed & Breakfast,” Steven points the men towards the tall, yellow townhouse with the familiar red shutters. “She’s really nice, and a great cook, so, uh, good luck I guess.”

Quiet Adam quickly ducked into Rie’s, but Briefcase Man hangs back, turning to face Steven. Safe on Rie’s porch, Steven finally gets a good look at Briefcase Man without the rain and his frustration clouding his features. 

He’s handsome. Extremely handsome, one might even say (if that ‘one’ was Steven Lim). 

He had a soft jaw and an even softer looking pink mouth with eyes so brilliantly green Steven thought they deserved to have their own gemstone named after them. His brow was strong in that distinct Eastern European way, and when he spoke, his teeth were straight and white and had probably never been touched by braces. 

Steven was so distracted, he almost missed it when Briefcase Man started talking.

“Sorry about the…temper earlier. I’m embarrassed you had to see that.” Briefcase Man rubs the back of his neck sheepishly and oh, yeah, okay there were his biceps right there in Steven’s face.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m a sailor, remember? My ears are far from virginal.” Steven laughs awkwardly, and Briefcase Man tilted his head to the side, studying Steven like he was an interesting exhibit at the zoo. Steven shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny until, to his relief, Briefcase Man broke into a small, reserved smile.

“Well, either way, I really appreciate the help…” 

“Steven,” Steven supplies helpfully.

Briefcase Man puts his hand out. “Andrew.”

Steven shakes Andrew’s hand and feels a familiar tugging at his gut.

But Andrew is a man, not a boat. And Steven has no control over him, no matter how badly he wants to keep him as a part of his collection of adventures.

“Have a good night, Andrew. And tell Rie I said hi.” Steven says as he ducks back into the rain.

“Sure. Goodnight, Steven.” A curious smile tugs at Andrew’s _distractingly_ pretty mouth and Steven nearly trips in his haste to turn around and run home. Like a coward.

* * *

Andrew closes the door to his room and leans his forehead against it, taking a deep breath before sinking to the floor, sopping briefcase landing with a heavy _plop_ at his side.

He was exhausted. He was wet. He was stranded on a foreign island. He was…not that mad about it. Not nearly as mad as he had been before, at least.

Because of that boy. That tall, gangly, strange boy with the silver hair who stood around in hurricanes for fun and helped out men he didn’t know who yelled at the sky.

Steven. An odd boy, Andrew decides. 

He’d be a good choice to take them back to the mainland when the storm passed, Andrew also decides. Steven seemed kind and trustworthy and capable, underneath his oddities. 

Matt is the one who answered the phone when Andrew called their hotel back on the mainland.

“It’s practically a monsoon. No one in their right mind would take us out in it,” Andrew explains, picking at his complimentary white terrycloth bathrobe. Matt sighs, too loud and exasperated in his ear.

“Tomorrow, then. You’d better be back tomorrow. We only have another week here and you know better than anyone what still needs to be done -“

“Goodnight, Matt.” Andrew placed the phone back onto the receiver and closed his eyes and pretended he was on a boat sailing far, far away from everything. 

When he opened them again, the rain had stopped and it was morning.

* * *

Even if he hadn’t embarrassingly spent the last 12 hours thinking about him, Steven would’ve been able to spot Andrew from a mile away just from the familiar briefcase hanging at his side. People on Ishigaki didn’t carry around briefcases.

There was also the fact that Andrew was wearing the same clothes as the day before.

Steven jogs a bit to catch up with Andrew and Adam, who walks by his side, nodding along as Andrew spoke.

“Hey!” Steven calls. Both men turn and Steven waves. Adam blinked at him and Andrew gave him that same, lilting smile from the night before. Steven ignores the heat that threatened to rise to his face and closed the gap between them.

“So,” he says when he’s caught up to them. “What’d Rie make for breakfast today?”

Andrew’s eyes light up and even Adam looks blissed out and longing at the mention of Rie’s breakfast. Steven couldn’t blame them, she was a world-class cook.

“Eggs florentine,” Andrew informs him.

“It was good,” Adam chimes in quietly. Steven tries not to look too shocked at the sound of Adam’s voice. He had just believed the man to be mute. 

“Lucky bastards,” Steven laughs, falling into step just ahead of them. “You’re heading for the dock, right?”

“Right. Just hoping I didn’t scare off _every_ boat-owner on the island with my colorful display yesterday.”

“Nah, not _all_ of them.” Steven looks over his shoulder at Andrew, just letting the barest hint of his smirk show.

“That so?”

Steven shrugs and hums as he continues at his loping pace towards the dock.

“Because I was hoping you’d take us back to the mainland.” Andrew tells the back of Steven’s head, nearly colliding with it as Steven stops short.

“Me?” He asks, sure he must’ve misheard. Adam’s looking at Andrew as well, with a more carefully neutral expression.

“If it’s not too much trouble. I can pay double whatever you usually charge,” Andrew offers. Steven has to keep walking to regain blood flow to his brain because he’s pretty sure it short-circuited. 

Double what they usually charge for a ride to the mainland? That was a _lot_ of money. They usually stuck to tourist excursions around the island, but did make the odd trip to the mainland every once in a while. 

But the most tempting part of the offer had to be the idea of getting to spend more time in the vicinity of Andrew’s face.

“I have to check with my partner,” Steven says finally.

“Partner?” Steven looks back to see Andrew’s eyebrows raised suggestively.

“My _business_ partner,” Steven clarifies, cheeks burning. “She owns the boat, I just help her run things. Speaking of…” Steven trails off as they step onto the dock, Annie’s dark bob just becoming visible through the crowd. “Annie!”

Annie looks up and spots him, giving him a wave and a curious look when she sees the men trailing behind him.

“This is Andrew and Adam. They need a ride back to the mainland. You up for it?”

Annie looks past Steven, her eyes flickering back and forth between the two strange men.

“Can’t see why not,” she decides. 

“Thank you.” Steven is surprised to hear Adam answer first. Annie nods quickly, bob swinging, and Steven could almost swear he sees a pink tint to her cheeks before she turns and climbs aboard _Unmei_ to prepare her to sail.

“You guys can wait here while we get everything ready,” Steven tells Andrew and Adam, motioning to a bench for them sit before following Annie into their pride and joy to prepare for another day in the life they chose for themselves. 

The life he loves, according to his mother, more than his own family.

* * *

Andrew’s not _not_ gay. He’s never actually found it pertinent to his life to label his sexuality ever. There were just so many terms these days, he couldn’t be bothered to do the research and self-reflection required to figure it out.

But, as a not not gay man, he could maybe possibly see the appeal that Steven would have to any living human with working eyes.

Especially when he pushed up the sleeves of his thin grey t-shirt and got to work, pulling ropes and lifting wood and doing other…boat stuff. Andrew actually has no idea what’s going on on the deck of that beautiful, gleaming white boat, but he does know that Steven looks pretty good doing it. 

He hasn’t got the biggest or most defined muscles out of all the men working around on the boats, by far (just _look_ at that Ryan guy’s arms, wow), but Steven has his own sort of attractiveness. 

He’s tall and gangly, yes, and sometimes reminds Andrew of a teen who just hit his growth spurt and is still getting used to the length of his own limbs, or like a newborn deer, but - but Steven’s no twig. He’s got lean, ropey muscles that stand out against his forearm and up the inside of his bicep. Every so often when he reaches or stretches, Andrew gets a glimpse of the defined bones of Steven’s hips and the dip leading past the waistband of his shorts. 

“How long have you been doing this?” Andrew calls, before he can think better of it. Steven pauses his work, and looks at Andrew questioningly over his shoulder, like he isn't sure he was the one being spoken to. Andrew raises his eyebrows pointedly and Steven flushes.

“About two years, actually.”

“Two years? That’s like a lifetime at your age.” Andrew doesn’t actually know how old Steven is, and he’s sure that he can’t actually be much younger than Andrew himself. Steven must realize it too and chuckles. 

“So you’ve never done anything else?” Andrew presses on.

“No, nothing besides working in a restaurant. I studied chemical engineering in uni and, well, you can see how passionate I was about that.” Steven laughs, but it sounds hollow and self-depreciating. Andrew doesn’t even think he has to ask to know how Steven’s parents probably feel about his lifestyle choice.

“Sounds boring. I’d run away and become one with this sea, too, if I were you,” Andrew offers. Steven flashes him a smile, honest and bright, before turning back to his work. 

Andrew kind of feels like one of the fish being gutted on the table off to his right. He can feel Adam’s curious look without even looking at him.

“Don’t say anything.”

“Wasn’t gonna.” True to character, Adam says nothing. Andrew almost wishes he would. Adam would say something logical, something to talk him down, something to remind him about why they were here in the first place.

“We’re ready.” Andrew looks up to see Steven’s partner, Annie, standing in front of them with sweat beading across her brow, cloth wraps around her hands, and faint rope scratches across her arms. Adam looks up at her and smiles.

_Adam, you fool_ , Andrew thinks. _Now we’re both screwed._

* * *

The storm left an oppressively hot day with a suffocating humidity in its wake. Steven lifted the bottom of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow for what felt like the hundredth time since they’d set sail. 

The worst part wasn’t the heat. The worst part was Andrew’s reaction to the heat.

He had cuffed his khakis as far up his calf as they would go, revealing a surprisingly delicate ankle attached to a toned calf covered in fine blonde hair. Navy blue t-shirt completely unbuttoned, now just hanging off his broad shoulders. Strong chest that Steven just wanted to curl up and lay his head on…

“You’re not pulling that tight enough,” Annie tells Steven from behind him at her spot at the wheel.

“Huh?” Steven responds eloquently, before looking down and realizing that his grip on the rope in his hands had gone significantly slack. “Shit!” Steven shifts his hands and tugs the rope tight. Annie hums in a way that Steven doesn’t very much like the sound of.

“You're going to wreck this boat completely if you can’t stop staring at that guy for more than thirty seconds.”

Steven’s face heats up with shame. “I’m not-!”

The sharp look Annie gives him is enough to stop his words in their tracks.

“Did I mention they were paying double?”

“We’re almost in open water, just try to control yourself until then, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steven mumbles. 

About five minutes later, Andrew loses his shirt completely and Steven is cursing every god he can possibly think of being so cruel. It’s probably the hardest twenty minutes of his life, being in such close proximity to someone who looks like Andrew and smiles like Andrew and laughs like Andrew and not even being able to enjoy it. But finally, after what feels like an eternity, Annie looks over and nods, giving him the all clear to tie up the sails where he’s got them and take a rest.

He makes a beeline for Andrew.

“You should put some sunblock on.” Andrew lowers his sunglasses and peers at Steven over the rims.

“Sorry?”

“Your shoulders are getting a little pink,” Steven mentally kicks himself in the balls. How much more obvious could he be about the staring? What kind of guy just casually looks at another guy for so long that he notices the shade of his skin changing? Fucking ridiculous. 

But Andrew doesn’t looked creeped out. He picks up his sunglasses, looks down at himself, and says “huh”. 

“Do you, uh, need some?” Steven offers. 

“That would be great, thanks Steven.” 

“It’s down below so it doesn’t, you know, melt, so,” Steven turns on his heels and tries to calm his frantic heartbeat. Fuck! He couldn’t even talk to this guy without losing his cool completely. Not that he had a lot of cool to start with, but this was just getting ridiculous.

Steven dug around in a few bins before locating a bottle of sunblock. He nearly screams when he turns and Andrew is standing in the doorway, casual as you will, with his sunglasses perched on top of his blonde head.

“ _Kuso_ ,” Steven clutches the sunblock to his chest. “You scared the hell out of me! Were you here the whole time?”

“Most of the time.” Andrew walks further below deck, and takes a seat in the corner of the bench that goes around the entire perimeter of the room. “I figured I should probably take a break from the sun for a bit. Alright if I hang out down here?”

“Oh sure, sure!” Steven puts the bottle of sunblock out on a shelf where Andrew can easily find it and starts shuffling towards the door. “If you need anything, I’ll be right up-“

“How’d you end up on that island?” Andrew asks abruptly. Steven stops in his tracks, mouth hanging open.

“It’s called Ishigaki,” he instinctively defends his home. Andrews lips quirk into a grin, and he pulls one of his legs up on the bench with him, knee tucked to his chest.

“Okay, Ishigaki, then. How did you end up on Isigaki?”

“A boat.”

Andrew tips his head back and laughs, pretty lips stretched around his perfect white teeth and Steven hadn’t meant to be funny, but man he would keep making jokes forever if it got Andrew to do that. 

“Clever one, aren’t you? Okay wise guy, what series of life events lead to you taking up permanent residence on the island of Ishigaki working on a boat? I mean, you have a degree in chemical engineering and you aren’t from around here. You don’t look like you’re from around here, at least. I’ve met a lot of Japanese people in the past week and you don’t look like - oh shit, is that racist?” Andrew looked suddenly horrified, and now it was Steven’s turn to laugh.

“No, no, it’s fine. It would be more racist, I think, if you thought that all Asian people looked the same.” Andrew looks mollified at that.

“So?”

It’s not a short story, and he’s not sure exactly what Andrew is expecting, but when he hesitantly takes a seat on the bench a few inches away from the other man, Andrew smiles and Steven starts talking.

He tells Andrew about living in China, then living in Ohio, then living in Malaysia, then going back to America for university. He tells him about how he wanted to study music or art or maybe hospitality, but his entire family was expecting him to graduate with something that had “engineer” in the title, like all of his cousins and aunt and uncles before him, so he spent four years dedicating all of his time to something he utterly hated. He spent any free moment he had drinking or doing drugs or anything to occupy his mind with something other than science and math and his family. 

He did it, of course he did. He graduated with a 3.9 (“Why not a 4.0?” his father had asked) from one of the top colleges in the country, and had a job all lined up to start at just a few weeks after he finished school - a feat many college kids would kill for. He begged his parents to send him abroad for those few weeks, to just give him a chance to see the world before he was locked down into the life they chose for him.

He had every intention of going home. At the time.

Andrew listened with rapt attention as Steven told him about the time he spent alone in Paris and Rome and Berlin and Dubai, and how he eventually made his way over to Japan. Ishigaki was only meant to be a day trip for him, just as it was for Andrew. But when his feet touched the ground he just - he couldn’t even explain it to Andrew in words, it was just this _feeling_ like he had reached the center of his universe. Like everything was in balance and he was exactly where he belonged.

“The center of your universe?” Andrews lips quirked. “How romantic, Steven.”

“Shut up,” Steven grumbles, though he was pleased for the confirmation that Andrew had actually been paying attention.

“And then?”

“Sorry? That’s - it’s kinda the whole story. Then I met Annie, I met her boat, and I fell in love all over again.”

Andrew’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “With Annie?”

“Oh god, no,” Steven laughs. “I mean I love her like a sister, but I meant the boat. I fell in love with _Unmei_ and the water and just - everything. I fell in love with my life again.” Steven smiles and looks down at his feet.

Andrew doesn’t say anything for a long time. Steven starts to get worried, going back over everything he said in his head to try and find something that might’ve offended Andrew. Maybe his grandpa was killed by a Japanese soldier in a war, or maybe his dog drowned and he hated the water, or maybe -

“You really are a romantic, aren’t you?” Steven looks up and all of his anxiety flies out the window when he sees the way Andrew is looking at him. Soft, and fond, like Steven were some kind of miracle. “What’s that like?”

“What, being a romantic?”

“Falling in love. Tell me about your island.”

“It’s called Ishi-“

“Ishigaki, yes, my apologies.” Andrew doesn’t look very sorry, but Steven found he didn’t mind.

“It’s… It’s like an artist traveled the world, right?” Andrew nods along, lips tugging into a grin. “Okay, so they travelled the world and saw all of the most beautiful places, and then they put all these places together to come up with the most perfect place of all and painted it. Ishigaki is like living in that painting.” Steven pauses, but Andrew doesn’t look like he's ready for Steven to stop yet, so he keeps going. Because he’d probably do or say anything Andrew asked him to right now because he was still _looking_ at him like that.

“You said you were only there for a day, right?”

“Right. Business trip, didn’t see much of anything really.” 

Steven thinks that should be a crime. He tells Andrew as much.

“There’s so much to the island! There’s the beach of course, which is beautiful, but you haven't even seen the forest - oh, the trees! They’re the tallest trees I think I’ve ever seen in my life and just so green. And there are these huge rocks, they must be so ancient it’s really incredible, you can almost imagine those rocks being right there millions of years ago, just towering above the whole island. If you keep going there’s this waterfall and the water is clear, and cool, it’s just about the best place to go swimming probably in the whole world, and -“

And Andrew was laughing. Steven felt heat prickling up his spine to the base of his neck and prayed that his face wasn’t already beet red. Fuck being Asian sometimes. 

Of course Andrew had only asked him all those questions and followed him down here so he could make fun of him. Andrew was here on a “business trip”, he was probably just some boring, stuffy, golf-playing corporate snob who’d never seen anywhere or loved anything besides his wallet.

“You’re making fun of me,” Steven says evenly, swallowing down the urge to cry or scream, or maybe vomit.

“What?” Andrew stops laughing immediately. “No, no, I really wasn’t! It’s just -“

“Just _what_?”

“I’ve met men who love their wives less than you love your isla- Ishigaki.” Andrew promptly burst into laughter again, and Steven felt the swelling bubble of anger and embarrassment that had been growing bigger and bigger in his chest slowly deflate. 

“Oh.”

“Oh, _Steven_ , I would never make fun of you like that! How cruel do you think I am?” Andrew sounds genuinely hurt and Steven wants to take everything back, because even though he could blame it on the fact that he didn’t really know Andrew at all, he really felt like he did. 

“I don’t think you’re cruel,” Steven says honestly. Andrew grins at him easily and stands up, stretching his arms in the air. Steven was so, so glad that Andrew hadn’t brought his shirt down with him. He grabs the sunblock and heads for the door, looking back at Steven over his shoulder.

“Coming?”

Steven had just poured his literal heart to this man, told him his entire life story, and risked utter humiliation. In return, Andrew had told him literally nothing about himself. 

Steven couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Coming.”

* * *

“That’s it,” Adam says quietly from right beside Andrew. Andrew nearly jumps out of his skin, though he figured after all these years he should’ve gotten used to the way Adam could sneak up on him. He opens his eyes and finds that Steven was no longer lounging on the deck alongside him, and had instead returned to his post by Annie’s side, following her orders.

“That’s what, Adam?” Andrew sighs, trying not to take his disappointment at his newfound lack of Steven out on his friend.

“The mainland.” Andrew props his sunglasses up on his head, shielding his eyes with his hand and squinting. Well. There it was. Growing closer and closer every second. He lets his gaze slip over to Steven and finds the other boy’s dark eyes looking back at him. Steven smiles sadly and shrugs.

What was there to be done about it now?

Fuck, but Andrew wants to stay on this boat and sail the world with Steven forever. 

“You good?” Adam asks so quietly Andrew wants to shout.

“All good. We’ve got a job to finish, don’t we?”

Andrew and Steven shake hands when the boat docks, while Adam pays Annie the amount Andrew promised (though Annie tries desperately to give half the money back, insisting they didn’t have to pay double). Andrew has to force himself to let go of Steven’s warm, strong, calloused hand after a socially acceptable amount of time.

“Thanks for everything, Steven.” 

It doesn’t feel like enough.

“Enjoy the rest of your trip, Andrew.”

It doesn’t sound like enough.

In what feels like the blink of an eye, Andrew and Adam are standing on the dock with only their briefcases, watching Steven and Annie disappear over the horizon.

“All good?” Adam asks quietly.

“I don’t know,” Andrew replies honestly.

When they get back to the hotel, it’s just about dinnertime, but Andrew can’t find his appetite. Matt practically ambushes them in the lobby, shoving pens and documents in Andrew’s face that Adam politely takes when Andrew refuses them.

“You’re a day behind, Ilnyckyj! This entire deal is going to fall through if you don’t -“

“Matt, if you say one more word to me, I’m going to put your head through that pretty glass table over there. Which would be a shame. It’s a very pretty table.” Andrew shoves past his fuming co-worker and jams his finger repeatedly into the elevator button.

Adam carefully wraps his hand around Andrew’s and pulls his hand away from the button.

“Andrew?” It’s soft, and concerned.

“I’m fine.” Andrew isn’t so sure. 

This doesn’t feel like anything he’s ever felt before. It’s not like having his heart broken, it’s not like loss or pain. It’s like…like his skin is being stretched too tightly over his body when just a few hours ago, everything fit comfortably. Like he’s trying to remember something important, but it’s just out of reach.

He lays in his hotel bed that night and wonders what it feels like to be in love with your life.

Then, he gets up and starts packing a bag.


End file.
